Single Bells
by TwilightDisney556
Summary: Did you ever wonder why Bella couldn't handle listening to any music in New Moon? This should tell you why. This is my very first songfic and I hope you all enjoy. Please also listen to the song on iTunes, someone very close to me wrote it. Happy Holidays


Single Bells

Author's Note: Hey guys, this is just a song fic I thought about writing in honor of my cousin. She actually wrote this song and it's on iTunes. If you want to find it go on iTunes and search "Chevonne" and you should find an album called Unwrap Me-Ep. Please, tell all of your friends about this song too! I hope you all enjoy it! :)

"Come on Bells! It's Christmas for crying out loud! Be happy!"

I knew how much I was hurting Charlie. Heck, I've barely said a word since..._they _left. Not knowing how to make him feel better, I plaster a fake smile on my face. Unfortunately, I was never a good liar and he saw right through me.

He raised his hand and squeezed the bridge of his nose. My eyes widened and I fought to remain neutral. That was such an Ed..._him _gesture.

"Look, if you don't want to celebrate this year then fine! I'm going over to Billy's. Your mom wanted you to be in the Christmas spirit so she told me to give you this." He then handed me a beat up radio.

"She wants you to go on B-104 and listen to the Christmas music in hopes of lightening your spirits." I gave a little smirk at that. The idea practically screamed Renee.

Charlie placed the radio on my desk, plugged it in the outlet, turned the radio onto the right station, and plodded out of the room to his police car.

I knew Renee would ask which songs in what order I was listening to them, to prove I was doing as she asked, so I decided to leave the radio on. I didn't like music, but what harm could come out of a few Christmas jingles?

The first thing that came on was "Jingle Bell Rock". Following that was "Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer", "White Christmas", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", and a few commercials for "Sleepy's", "Toys R Us", and Walmart.

I was quickly losing interest in the song selection. A normal person would have tried to fall asleep, but not me. Sleep would mean dreams, and I wasn't ready for the nightmares that usually plagued me just yet. Instead I just stared at the wall and endured my Christmas themed torture.

The next song that played was much different. It started out with sleigh bells, but then I heard a feminine voice.

_Get your bells out boys (followed by laughter)_

I thought it was going to be a bogus up beat pop song, but it ended up being a trip through a wild, emotional roller coaster.

_I'm getting decked out_

_My man just checked out_

It felt like I was trying to swallow a golf ball. My "man" did check out, out of my life.

_I'm gonna throw away his photo_

Except he threw away my photo of him. Along with everything else that proved that he wasn't just a dream. A wonderful, too good to be true dream.

_Took off his jewelry_

Jewelry. I fantasized _him _placing a ring on my finger. A dream that was impossible.

_Put it on the Christmas tree_

_And now I'm feeling fabulous-o_

I wasn't, but I was willing to be he was.

_And it feels so right_

_Without him on Christmas night_

No, it felt wrong. Utterly and completely wrong. I was broken without him, and I wished I could've seen him just one more time.

_And I'm singing_

_Single bells, single bells, single all the way_

That's definitely my tune. Except, unlike the singer, I wasn't rejoicing about no longer having a boyfriend.

_Not gonna cry today_

No, I wouldn't. I'd cried enough already, if Charlie came home and saw my eyes puffy he might try to make me go to therapy. That's something I refuse to do. I was paralyzed at the spot, unable to move to turn off the music like a wished I could.

_Nightfall, Discoball_

_On the Christmas tree_

_Raise my glass_

_Shake my a**_

_Finally I'm free_

Too bad I would never be free. I was like a princess, locked in a tower waiting for her prince to rescue her. But I wasn't a princess, I wasn't living in a fairy tale, and I wasn't going to get my happily ever after.

_Turn up the music_

_Come let my girls in_

The only 'girls' I had were Jessica and Angela, and they abandoned my depressing self a while ago. I wished that A-that _she _was still here, but I had no way of finding her. _They _made sure I had absolutely no way to possibly contact her.

_We're gonna dance until the mornin_

Dancing. I opposed dancing. Well, except at prom...The memories were getting to be too much for me. I put my hands on my ears in hope of blocking out the music. Of course with my luck it didn't work.

_Go out and get drunk_

I chuckled darkly at the thought of Charlie's reaction if he ever saw me drunk.

_And get our fur on_

_I think I got just what I wanted_

When _he _left I didn't get what I wanted, but what I deserved.

_I've got a brand new life_

I scoffed. As if my pity of an existence could possibly be labeled as a life.

_Starting this Christmas night_

_We're singing_

_Single bells, single bells, single all the way_

Single. The word sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me. It was a horrifying thing to think about. I was single, alone, without hope, forever. Forever, a possibility no longer open to me.

_Not gonna cry today_

_Nightfall, Discoball_

_On the Christmas tree_

_Raise my glass_

_Shake my a**_

_Finally I'm free_

_I'm dripping in glitter like an ornament_

_I think this was what my mama meant_

_She said your heart isn't a Christmas present_

When I thought I had his heart I cherished it like a present. The ultimate present. But he was right, who would ever want mine as a present? I wasn't good for him.

_I know I'll never give mine away_

Too bad I already did. When he left he took my heart with him. Wherever he was was where it would stay.

_Single bells, single bells, single all the way_

_Not gonna cry today_

_Nightfall, Discoball_

_On the Christmas tree_

_Raise my glass_

_Shake my a**_

_Finally I'm free_

_This one is for Christmas time_

_Single bells, single bells, single all the way_

_Not gonna cry today_

_Nightfall, Discoball_

_On the Christmas tree_

_Raise my glass_

_Shake my a**_

_Finally I'm free_

_Oh yeah, oh yeah_

_Said finally I'm free, yeah_

_Oh girls_

_Take off that jewelry_

_Put it on the Christmas tree_

_And say bye bye baby_

Oh, he definitely said bye.

The words echoed over and over in my head. Maybe at one time I would have enjoyed listening to that song. A happier time where the lyrics would've had nothing to do with me. The song made it official. If I was able to twist around holiday music into thinking of _him, _then that meant I shouldn't listen to music anymore. With that being decided I turned off the radio and went to do the homework I had been procrastinating on for a few weeks.

**Tell me what you think! About the song and the songfic! Happy Holidays! :)**


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